The (Old) New Car...

I don't normally post pictures on my blog, and especially not first thing in an entry. But this is just impressive, so I had to share:

See, I told you I'd write something about the car I got.

Anywho, as you can tell from the lovely graphic above, the 1993 Ford Explorer I bought January 3rd, 2011 is no more as of August 1st, 2011. I spent--overspent--$1500 on this beaut after spring semester at GA State was fast approaching and I had no foreseeable transportation in sight. Straight off the bat I took it by my boyfriend's trusted mechanic shop, since we were in his part of town, only to discover it badly needed new brakes and tires (apparently one of the tires wasn't the same size as the others when I got it). Yes, I know, that could have easily been remedied by looking at the tire sizes prior to purchase, but I was just glad I realized the key the seller intended to give me didn't work in any of the doors before I bought the thing (he purchased a new one as part of the purchasing deal).

But it was a hardy little truck. Only two doors, but fairly nimble for an SUV and it handled surprisingly well. Never did fix the weirdness with the A/C even after replacing the blower motor (the original caught fire), ended up putting in new brakes twice because of leaking brake fluid, and no one ever gave me a satisfactory answer as to why the car consistently vibrated between 65 and 75 mph even after I got used to the vibration, but it got me from A to B on most days.

As for how the car ended upside down: I was on a quick lunch break at my writing internship and intended to head home, stopping by the bank on the way. I usually didn't leave work for lunch but I needed to run a few errands that Monday, so I hopped on GA 400 to travel one exit. That's right, one measly exit. And I did travel one exit, but upon approaching the exit ramp, I was apparently over too far in the dirt. Which might have been fine except for whatever reason--recent construction?--there were these little dugouts next to the side of the road, causing me to lose control of my car. I was careening towards a sign and in an effort to miss it swerved. I succeeded in missing the sign but having a high center of gravity combined with my speed, I flipped over in the middle of the exit ramp.

It happened so fast that I didn't realize I had flipped over until I was physically upside-down in the driver's seat. My initial thoughts were that 1) I was about to die because someone is going to crash into me for not reacting fast enough to my accident, 2) oh god I've killed some 3-month-old baby by crashing into another car, 3) is there a car fire going which I can't see but will cause an explosion in a few seconds? and 4) great, I've probably got horrible, horrible injuries which I simply can't feel yet because of the adrenaline rush. But most pressing was the overriding thought "CICI, GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS WRECK!" so I tried the seatbelt release. Nothing. No worries, though: a few seconds of panicked shifting while pressing the release button succeeded in undoing the seatbelt. Serendipity would have it that my driver's side window was rolled down prior to crashing for the lack of working A/C during summertime, and thus I simply climbed through the open window in a matter of seconds to exit the vehicle once my seatbelt was off.

Despite the initial scariness of the situation I was supremely lucky to have escaped the accident literally unscathed. The severity of the crash warranted the arrival of an ambulance, but I declined a hospital visit despite the paramedic's insistence that I might have internal injuries. Even the cop who drove me to the nearby Waffle House (where I waited for the parents to pick me up) noted that I would probably feel sore later from the stress on my body of being in an accident, but I never even experienced that. The only physical indication that I had been in a rollover was the bits of windshield glass lodged in my hair.

Since I destroyed neither people nor property (other than my own), the cops saw no reason to add insult to injury by giving me a ticket. My insurance company even ended up paying me a grand total of $1700 ($2200 minus $500 deduction) for the car because of all the repairs I had done, so at least I received more than the $1500 the car cost me. Still a loss considering the amount I spent in repairs, but hey, I'll take whatever I can get for a horribly totaled car. Once all the dust was settled I ended up replacing this upside-down clunker with a much better vehicle which, eight months later, still hasn't left me stranded anywhere or broken down. All in all, if you're going to involve yourself in a rollover crash, this would be the ideal way to have things turn out.

So the moral of story, kids, is to: crash your car and use the insurance money to get an improved ride. Or just be a better fucking driver than I am. Yeah, that second one's probably easier to do...

So what was the magical new car I got afterwards? Ah, until next post, my friends, until next post.

10 Reasons to Fuck Summertime

Note: I originally started writing this post in July, when it would have actually seemed appropriate to be bitching about heat. In my laziness I finally got around to finishing this in October, but of course it's pretty much fall now. So just pretend that I was competent and posted this sometime in July, and everything will make much more sense.  ---Cici

Yeah, yeah, I know I said my next post would catch everything up or whatever. But first there is a much more important point I have to make: fuck summertime.

And it's not just because there's some massive drought and separate heat wave going on, either. I mean, those certainly add to my point. But no, my main point is that even a regular summer sucks.

It's an important message to get out. Supposedly a lot of people have been moving into the South--the "Sunbelt"--in the past decade. I'm sure jobs and whatever else are the primary reasons (insert your own well-researched statistics here), but I also imagine people from the north are coming because they think summer is awesome. And I say this as a native northerner. To my fellow native northerners, please realize the following before you commit to coming down here:

1. No snow, dammit. You may think this is an obvious--and beneficial--upside to a warmer climate. And yes, not worrying about mounting snow tires, shoveling the driveway, or being stranded in a blizzard certainly do constitute a plus. But snow does have its own charm: Bing Crosby was dreaming of a white Christmas, not some bland snowless shit. Snow opens up a whole new world of recreation: enter snowball fights, Calvin-and-Hobbes snowmen projects, tobogganing, etc. Not to mention iced-over lakes and ponds make great areas for a pick-up game of hockey, skating, or even curling (but not usually curling).

2. Your car will need A/C. In my adventures with crappy cars, there is almost always something off with the A/C whereas the heater has worked fine. Which makes sense: living in the South, a car without adequate air conditioning is probably something you'd try to get rid of too. Note that heaters and A/Cs are both prohibitively expensive to fix, but a car's air conditioning system consists of several parts and requires a separate fluid to work (refrigerant), whereas car heaters are part of the engine's cooling system; the heater core and blower motor are pretty much the only major heating-specific parts involved. Yeah, you can roll down those windows and still get some air flowing in that bitch, but it's not the most fuel efficient thing to do at highway speeds. We've all heard horror stories of kids and pets dying in hot cars, but deaths in cold cars just don't seem to come up as much. Point: summer = car A/C = a pain in the ass when it doesn't work.

3. Being hot is worse than being cold. Ideally, you would be comfortable, neither too cold nor too hot. But forced into an uncomfortable choice, heat is often more dangerous--partly because people don't take excessive heat as seriously as excessive cold. In some places it's actually illegal to rent out buildings without adequate heating, but I haven't heard the same for buildings without air conditioning. I realize wikipedia is not immune from inaccuracies, but the article on heat waves mentions that they are overall the most deadly weather-related phenomena. Now maybe that's just bullshit, but if it's true, that means, in general, more people die from being too hot than from tornadoes, hurricanes, and presumably blizzards. If that's not an argument to fuck summertime I don't know what is. There must be a reason hell is typically depicted as a scorching pit of death instead of some cold tundra; at least extreme cold has the courtesy to numb you before you die.

4. Crime rises during the summer. Heat is deadly in another way: it not only makes people miserable, it makes them homicidal. Literally: people commit more crimes during the summer than in other seasons. "Hotheaded" is more than just a metaphor. Makes sense to me: in February it's just too damn cold to go all out on someone. But don't worry, you'll get that bastard once June comes around.

5. Cold gives you an excuse to cuddle. Of course, this presumes that 1) you like to cuddle and 2) there's someone in your life who is willing to cuddle with you, but come summer you just want everyone to back the fuck off. Maybe that cute girl would have hung out in your bed if it weren't a whoppin' 89 degrees in your room. During winter though, all you need is a warm-looking comforter to entice lovely members of the opposite sex. Well, okay--maybe you need more than just a comforter. But being cold always makes a little snuggle-snuggle just that more appealing; why not take all the help you can get?

6. You can always put on more clothes. But you can only take off so many. I'm not saying that you'll be entirely mobile: even moving your arms becomes a feat once you've got 15 coats on. You'll be damned warm though. However, once you're naked, you're naked--and you'll need that mobility to outrun the cops trying to charge you with indecent exposure.

7. Sweating is worse than shivering. Shivering sucks too, but at least it doesn't cause wet stains on your shirt and make people squinch their noses at your odor. Think of it this way: would you rather walk in shivering or sweating to that all-important interview for your dream job? (Although it wouldn't be much of a dream job if they didn't have some sort of climate control in the interview room, I suppose.)

8. Humidity + Hot = Hell. Unlike Arizona, which is famous for its dry heat, here in Georgia we get to enjoy a lovely little phenomenon called humidity. It's a cliche because it's true: it's not the heat, it really is the humidity. While summer is often associated with happy-go-lucky days outside, the first thing that makes me want to about-face on my doorstep is having a wall of sticky, muggy air greet me first thing after I open the door. To add insult to injury, heat and humidity seem to instantly summon swarms of evil flying things outside. When was the last time you had to swat at a wasp in 30-degree weather?

9. More days off during the winter. Yeah, there's the whole summer break thing for us schoolkids, but excluding teachers (who deserve a nice long break considering everything they put up with), people with real jobs have to work in the summer. And pretty much the whole summer at that: aside from Fourth of July, what time off are you really looking forward to during those warm months? Compare that to the big three of Christmas, Thanksgiving, and New Year's plus Presidents' Day and Martin Luther King Day during the winter. And granted, some people have to work on holidays anyway, but at least you'll have more chances to whine about it in wintertime.

10. Animals come out in the summer. I guess this can be construed into a plus if you're into, say, bird watching or deer hunting, but I'm mostly thinking of mosquito bites from evenings spent outside, bees hanging around your azaleas next to the front door, and noisy birds who don't give a damn that it's 7 in the morning on your day off. Don't get me wrong, I'm cool with animals, but putting up with that damn cicada noise gets old by the middle of July. During the winter, annoying wild animals behaviors are much less of an issue. Hell, even bears aren't a problem in the winter, assuming they're hibernating. If only little kids did the same...

After all that, I will add a disclaimer that summer isn't completely horrible. Yes, I realize more people retire in Florida than in, say, Maine, and most guys would probably agree that bikinis alone make summertime worth the heat. Who knows, maybe your birthday's in August, maybe you loathe the holiday season, maybe your mother died by crashing into a snowdrift, I don't know. But I do know that it's just too damn hot during the summer here in Georgia. So fuck summertime.

Eight Months Later

And you thought the blog had just died, didn't you?

At any rate, a lot has happened since the last post. It's harder for me to keep up a blog when I've actually got a job and school and, well, things to do. To provide an update:

• Jobs. I was finally hired at Best Buy in late October--and left it two months later despite their pleas for me to stay. Went on to work at Staples, an arguably worse move, quit that in early April (notice a pattern?) and now I'm at the Atlanta Ballet doing a telemarketing gig. Not dreadful work, especially when you play sudoku for most of the shift, but not exactly a resume-booster either, unless I plan on being a telemarketer indefinitely. I'll probably create a separate post with details about my jobs later.  

• Writing. I'm not just blogging anymore: since about May of this year, I've been trying to actually be a real writer with real writing assignments that might even show up in search engines. This all kind of started after googling "how to make $1000 a month" some five or six weeks ago and was led to an site dealing with online article/affiliate marketing. But more on that later; in the meantime, I've signed up as a Yahoo! Associated Content Contributor, been trying to create a viable Elance profile, and am even working towards getting a writing internship soon.

• School. Has started. And with regards to the spring semester, has already ended as well. I'm currently in the midst of dealing with a part-time summer semester, making a decision about transferring from Georgia State or not, and deciding what the fuck to do with my life after--and during--college. Everyone keeps saying this is the time in your life when you can do anything with it--anything with it!--and I'm pretty much still in the wtf? stage of having any idea about that. Like I'm going to screw up colossally and miss out of some major opportunity that I'll have an epiphany about around my 40th birthday. At any rate, it's still nice to be in school, it feels like I'm making some sort of progress. I'm even keeping another blog for my English class right now.

So that's just an inkling of what's new. Just to touch one of my prior posts about buying a computer: I bought a computer. And a car. And car insurance, gas, repair bills--blech. So now I'll need a job pretty much indefinitely. And I've got this bad habit of not showing up for work; in fact, I should be at work this very minute. I know, I know, this is why I'm not getting good jobs. All the more reason I should focus on my writing: as of now I don't have anything else going for me.

So yeah, hopefully the next post will be before February 2012. Later.

MetroPCS

So it's been a little over two months that I've sat here and dealt with the no-contract phone company. This past July my phone of over two years finally gave out: a flip phone, and the top started to disconnect from the bottom. It was a good hardy phone but AT&T doesn't carry it anymore, so it was off to shop for something new. I don't really get why phone companies feel the need to be offering the newest thing all the time. Yeah, okay, if you're just joining you'll probably want something hot off the press, but for us with perfectly good phones that are a year or two old, it's basically over when it dies. Hmmph.

Anyhow, did see about getting it fixed; would have been about $60, the same I was paying for monthly service from AT&T. Eh, I just decided might be time for another phone. Had never bought another phone before--my previous phone was also my first--but sometimes it's good to just get a fresh start. Besides, my parents had the same kind of phone I did: LG CU515, must have been a family deal or something that Christmas season. But Mother's phone had already given out for the same reason, and a few weeks after I got my new phone Dad's phone started to disconnect from itself too. Alright, so perhaps there are good reasons to sell the newest shit. Of course, one could also just sell reliable shit to begin with...

I then went to look at the phones offered with AT&T's "GoPhone" service, their prepaid solution to the whole no-contract option. My old phone was a good, decent phone; I got it when I was still on my parents' plan. However, it didn't occur to me that people with prepaid plans can only get specific prepaid phones. Yeah, I could buy a "contract" phone outright--for about $160 or more. Haha... fuck you AT&T. But I came to realize a decent prepaid phone was going to put me back almost $100. And I might even be willing to pay $80 or $90 for a phone if it's worth it, but after reading several cell phone reviews, those phones really aren't worth that price. That, on top of $60 for unlimited service? I decided to really fuck AT&T and look for a new provider.

Shortly thereafter I found myself at MetroPCS. Basic unlimited service--calling, texting, and internet--at $40. Decent phones for around $50 to $70--and all the phones are available as "prepaid" phones, since MetroPCS doesn't even fuck with service contracts. Not to mention a sale was going on at the time, so I got a rebate and ended up spending $20 for a $50 phone in the long run. After dealing with AT&T's overpriced bullshit, I have to admit that even I, pessimist that I am, was a bit impressed. About $90 later I was standing outside with cheaper service, a new provider, and, most importantly, a working cell phone.

But I don't mean to sound like a fucking ad: it hasn't all been daises and roses with Metro. As such, just thought I should give a little review for people out there who might be in a similar situation... as if they would really chance upon this blog, but I digress. After all is said and done, my final verdict for MetroPCS is a 6 out of 10; better than halfway decent--but just barely.

Now for a Basic Rundown of my Deciding Points:

First off, the coverage. Spotty in some places in my house: I know better than to try and talk on the phone in the bathroom closest to me. Hell, laying in bed might not guarantee that I'll hear every word, and I can tell when my date's walking around at his house because he goes in and out. Dropped calls were common but, to be honest, are becoming less so. All in all, though, coverage is basically there when you need it. (Mind you, when speaking of coverage I'm focusing on what you can send and receive, but it does matter in terms of roaming whether it'll cost more to talk to your non-covered recipients.) Metro's talk and text plan covers pretty much all of the Atlanta metro area--my locale--but also most large cities you'd be able to spot on a map. And for some unknown reason Metro seems to cover every single inch of Mississippi. I'm not kidding: look at this and zoom in on Mississippi. But after that stuff starts getting hairy. As far as unlimited texting goes you can do that pretty much anywhere in the US. Now for whatever reason Metro seems to have just forgotten about rural Kentucky, Western Oklahoma, and large patches of Nevada--you can't send or receive even a text from those places. But when it comes to unlimited talking as well? Er... Metro's only worth a damn if you live near a large city. And in a state with a large city--the whole of Montana, Wyoming, the Dakotas, and Minnesota should just fuck MetroPCS. And Minnesota, really? Come on now, they could at least have gotten something.*

*Oct. 2011 Update: Since writing this post Metro has apparently increased its coverage area: Minnesota and Wisconsin are pretty much covered now, and Mississippi is part of the extended home area instead of the home area proper.

Prices. Now here's where Metro actually excels. My only complaint is that when you first sign up they make you get one of more expensive plans--$45, $50, or $60 a month--but you can switch to the $40 plan immediately afterward and have that extra money you paid go towards next month's bill. Why you can't just buy a $40 plan right off the bat is beyond me, especially when you can just change it anyway, but whatever. I believe if you plan on getting a smartphone or Blackberry or some other fancy shit like that you have to buy the $60 plan, but if you're paying that much for a phone then you probably have the money to pay for $60 service anyway. As you might expect, the more expensive plans include more little extras and what not, and you can always buy additional features no matter what plan you have. If you're like me, though, and just want a phone that'll let you talk and text, the $40 plan should be adequate.

The Phones. Their lineup seems to have a variety of options, and the prices run the gamut of "I just need a phone, dammit" to "I want to cure cancer while on hold." Since Metro deals only in prepaid plans, there's no "hey, get this awesome phone for free--if you want to sell us your soul for two years" bullshit, a huge advantage if you have bad credit, no credit (me), or just hate tying yourself down to a company. Because there's no division of good "contract" phones versus shitty prepaid phones, my assumption would be that the phones are all relatively decent at least. Granted, I can't really speak for any of the phones except for mine, but they did have a great sale going on when I bought my phone. Hell, if I had been less picky I could have bought a $50 phone and received a $50 rebate--meaning yes, I would have had a free phone, effectively. No, I prefer flip phones and thus settled with a Kyocera Neo, cost: $50. Damn good price, especially when the phone looks that damn good, but the voice messaging time is absolute shit. I'd say it's 30 seconds if that--which seems long enough until you actually try to leave a voice message in 30 seconds. Cut off voicemail has become something of the norm with my phone, not to mention it frustrates the hell out of anybody actually trying to leave me a message. As an adjunct to this my phone will only save messages for 7 days--an absolute bitch when I'm trying to remember that message from whatever potential employer who's only just now calling me back 10 days later. But with that exception, the phone is about as decent as my last one. At the very least I got what I paid for--more, really, with the rebate.

Customer Service. Is shitty. So there's the 611 myMetro thing or whatever, but you have to listen to whatever automated bullshit before even having the option of speaking with someone who may or may not speak clearly enough to be helpful. As someone who has actually worked as a telemarketer before, I don't fault these people--would you try that hard if you were paid minimum wage or less to listen to people bitching all day about stuff you had nothing to do with? But the sad part is, even if you dial 0 during the automated shit to try to reach a person, they still make you listen to all the automated shit anyway. That alone knocks off like three points. And although you can pay your bill online and via check, if you try to go in and pay cash at a MetroPCS store it costs an extra $2 to $5. In this warped world, where the most reliable way to make sure your money gets where it has to go barring computer errors, late mail, or whatever else is to put it directly into the right person's hands, they make you pay extra for it! Fuck, fuck, and triple fuck that! I don't care how many times I get a text asking me to rate my service at MetroPCS, until they let me pay at an actual location without charging me to do it Metro will never rate high for customer service in my book.

So that about sums it up. If you want a decent phone with cheap service, hate year-long contracts, prefer paying online or writing checks, don't ever expect to fuck with customer service, live in a relatively populated area, and don't travel to the boondocks a hell of a lot, MetroPCS could work for you. Mind you, I wouldn't say you should quit whatever you have now just to get it, but if you're in the market anyway, eh, give it a try. At the very least you won't have to break any contracts if you hate it.

stuff that annoys me: Job Hunting Bullshit

Noticed I haven't posted in a while; life'll do that to you.

Anyways, after a trip to Chicago and much general despair about the future I have thrown myself back into the job market--without much success, I might add. But when looking for a job, it's not the recession or lack of opportunity that pisses me off the most; it's dealing with assholes and their bullshit.

Because the amount of bullshit one deals with when finding a job is immense, it has become necessary in the course of human events to categorize them for my blogging ease:

1. The Application

Forget the interview: first things first, it helps to know if a business is even hiring. Unfortunately, instead of a simple yes or no, jobs have become notorious for the following:

          Jobseeker: Are you hiring?

          Well-Meaning Asshole: We're always accepting applications.

No, dipshit, I didn't ask if you were accepting applications, I asked if you were fucking hiring! But, as my date has pointed out numerous times, managers love to have a backlog of applications sitting in some bottom drawer in their desk so when the time comes that some current employee has has enough of their bullshit, the boss can pull out one of these papers and call up someone who moved on and found another job months ago. Heaven forbid anyone ever tries to call in wanting a job in the near future.

But let's say that, yes, they are indeed hiring and you come to fill out an application. You sit down, take 30 minutes to fill out the same information five separate times, take their stupid test to make sure you're not an obvious subversive, and, well, you're on your way. Chances are, that's the last you'll ever deal with those people. Yep, they want you to waste your precious time and effort so you can fill out an application that will most likely end up in a dumpster by the end of the week. Or if they're environmentally conscious they'll tell you to go home and apply online so you don't waste their paper on your sorry job-hunting attempts. And remember, you don't have a job: how the fuck are you paying for all this transportation?

2. The Contact

So perhaps my pessimism is misplaced: you came in or called or whatever and they gave you a number. Maybe it's the manager. Maybe it's the hiring associate. Maybe it's Tim the Janitor, how the hell are you supposed to know? And you're thinking, "Damn, this must be good; they probably don't give every applicant a number to call." And so you call--and the person isn't working that day, try two days from now. And then you call two days from now--and the person doesn't work this shift, try calling a bit later. So you call a bit later--and they're really sorry, but that person is really busy right now doing really important stuff. If you'd like, they'll pass your number on to them and they'll give you a call when they have the time. Two weeks later when you're living under a bridge, you get a call saying they've accepted someone else for the position but "we're always accepting applications!" And that's if you're lucky; more than likely you'll just never hear from them again.

Is my pessimism still misplaced?

Never, ever, ever think for a second that someone saying they'll call you is a good sign. Maybe they'll call you and all will go well--from my experience it's way to get you to stop calling them so they can forget about you. If they haven't given you a straight answer about coming in for an interview by now chances are they never will.

3. The Interview

Nevermind, they actually did call you back! Or maybe you actually reached them when you called. Whatever: point is they want you to come in on so-and-so day and set up an interview. Yes! You're so close, this is it. You start planning to reimburse everyone you borrowed money from, you start thinking about how you can actually pay the cell phone bill this month. You're excited. So-and-so day comes, you go to the interview, you're looking nice and feeling great and----

"Wait, wait, you don't have two years of customer service experience?"
"Yes I do, actually. I telemarketed for about a year and then worked for Chick-fil-A and..."
"No, no, we're sorry. You need two years of customer service experience."

And then it's over. You're back at step one: find job.

Substitute whatever excuse you'd like for the above conversation: don't have a car, don't have whatever certifications, can't work this specific shift, aren't fluent in Japanese. Ideally these things would have come up before they called you in for an interview--you know, like maybe listed in the qualifications or job description. But if the world was ideal then you wouldn't be unemployed in the first place now, would you?

Perhaps these things did come up during the qualifications talk and lo and behold, you're qualified! So they'll give you a call within 24 hours or 48 hours or insert any arbitrary number of hours you like there. 24 hours comes and goes. 48 hours comes and goes. You call (see section 2: "The Contact" above for how that goes). Eventually you reach someone--maybe the person who interviewed you, maybe not. The result is the same: they didn't hire you, sorry. And stop calling us.

Why can't people call when they say they will? Why can't they be reached when they asked you to call? Why can't they tell you upfront what they're looking--and not looking--for? And heaven forbid, is anyone actually hiring and not just accepting applications?! I tell you why: they don't give a fuck. You're one person in a hundred, a thousand, a million to them. What do they care if you can't pay your phone bill that month? Hence all the bullshit--and why it's easy to want to give up despite that fact that you're mother is screaming at you to move the hell out of her basement. Normally I would end this essay with something slightly upbeat or at least a witty aside. All I can say today is: Job is hunting is like life: you're just chasing after the wind.

And a Special Aside for Craigslist Job Posts

Craigslist has long been a go-to place for me to find jobs, even though I'm trying to break the habit due to the majority of posts being telemarketing/sales/commission crapshit jobs. Which makes sense: it's craigslist and they just need some dipshit--any dipshit--to do menial gruntwork that no other self-respecting jobseeker would do. Craigslist is for the desperate on both sides, employers and employees.

However, in my adventures on craigslist there always seems to be these crabby sons-of-bitches posting things such as the following on craigslist: 

I am seeking a Screen Print Pressman. You must be able to prove you know how to run an automatic press and print manually as well.
I am currently short staffed and need someone who can show up on time and stay late when needed. (we pay overtime rates for this)
We print the very best t-shirts so you should be willing to learn how to do what we do the way we do it.
If you have the skills and the knowledge to lead we can teach the rest but I need someone who is seeking a long term job, who takes pride in their craft.
Don't wast my time if you don't know anything about t-shirt printing.
The perfect candidate should look like this:
2 years or more experience running an automatic 12 color press. Is mature enough to have a good work ethic. Pays attention to the schedule and tries to meet deadlines.
Stays late to finish when its needed to make the deadlines. Helps other be more than they are. Takes instruction well, remembers instruction well 

And then he has the balls to post this afterwards: 

A good pressman leads by example not by command.

Maybe it's just me, but there seems to be a helluva lot of commands in the previous short paragraph. Here's a bastard using craigslist to hopefully find someone with very specific skills, a willingness to work overtime, a lot of experience, sights towards a career, and is apparently okay with being his bitch. There was a name and number posted as well, but because I try to avoid being a total bitch I left it out (besides, you can always google it if you're that concerned). But let's just call the guy who posted this Bob. Bob does note that he is short-staffed. Dear Bob: with a post like this you'll remain short-staffed! I mean the guy writes "you should be willing to learn how to do what we do the way we do it." Yeah, because anti-innovation and lack of self-direction always motivates me to apply for a job.

And then there's the dickheads on craigslist asking for bachelor degrees or higher as part of the job qualifications. Which would seem well enough--people with bachelor degrees do search craigslist for jobs--but they're almost always for shit jobs like receptionist or office associate or wiping snot off two-year-olds' noses. If I have a fucking bachelor's degree then why the fuck am I going to come in and be your gopher-lackey? I often feel very compelled to contact these companies with the reply: "Have you ever thought about why, perhaps, you currently have a vacancy for this position? Because you expect way too much for much too little."

When I'm queen of the world, these are the rules I would set down for posting a job ad on craigslist:

1. If you're not desperate, look elsewhere.
2. If you require specialized, uncommon skills, look elsewhere.
3. If you want a fucking certified teacher to babysit at your daycare, please look the fuck elsewhere!
4. If the only way potential candidates can contact you is by fax number, please buy a computer or cell phone--and use it.
5. If you don't want people to call or email you, don't fucking put a phone number or email address in your post.
6. And to you motherfuckers who don't want email attachments: stop. Just stop.

So, to those of you who have somehow found good jobs amidst all this bullshit: please comment how. The rest of us need to know.

in search of lost technology: Getting a Computer, part 1

^Tried to spoof Proust's "In Search of Lost Time" with that title but failed miserably, as I am looking for something that is neither lost nor just generalized technology. You'll have to forgive my pretension.

As part of the recent changing of plans, one of the things I must come to terms with is getting a computer of some sort. The crucial decision will come down to two separate choices:

• Desktop or Laptop?
• Where to get it?

(I had a third choice of "what brand" but my date--and current personal computer consultant--basically said fuck the brands. So we're fucking the brands, apparently.)

While the laptop is the staple of college students, there's no denying a desktop is more convenient is several ways: always plugged in, more hard drive space, an actual keyboard and mouse (you can only do so much with that stupid fingerpad, and heaven forbid you use the little "mousestick" wedged on top of the B key like your laptop's having some sort of mini erection). But as someone still working out the details of moving out of the parents' house, the mobility of a laptop is key, even if it does mean I'd always need an outlet handy for long-term use. My date has noted he does have a spare desktop he can put together for me; the only issues are that I'd need to furnish a monitor and, well, it's fairly old computer.

Of course, another option would be to save up and buy a brand-spanking new laptop or desktop right out the box. But aside from the expenses and the desktop/laptop dilemma, I have no idea what constitutes a "good" computer in terms of RAM or memory or, well, pretty much anything. The only certain thing I have decided on is to rule out Apple.

A quick aside about Apple: it's not so much that Apple has bad products that makes me want to avoid them, but rather 1) their shit is way too expensive, 2) I hate this cult of Apple which lets them sell shit that's way too expensive, and 3) their shit isn't compatible with anything, especially for as expensive as it is. Asus, for example, has shit that's reasonably good, reasonably priced, and comes without Apple's hubris. When $1000 is the low end of a company's laptop lineup (especially when half that money is really just to show off their stupid fruit logo on top), I think it may be time to reassess.

Anyway, the cheapest option seems to be to let my date give me his old desktop and convince my parents to give me one of the old CRT monitors collecting dust in the basement. Of course, that leaves me with an older computer that I can't lug off to college day in and day out, and he tells me that I'd end up having to buy more RAM and possibly a hard drive or two so that it does all the normal computer stuff at a normal computer speed. This kind of makes me want to just start off fresh with my own shit, as I am a huge fan of getting everything all at once and all in one place, if possible. But we'll see.

This past Tuesday my date took me browsing at a lot of little computer shops and Microcenter to compare laptops versus desktops versus buying RAM and hard drives. I came away thoroughly confused and no closer to any real decision about which to get, but at least I now have a rough idea of prices:

Apparently a good laptop is going to run me $300 to $400--perhaps even $500 if I wanted to go all out--and a decent one without much memory or RAM (or one of those mini fit-in-your-pocket laptops) something around the order of $250. For the price of a good laptop I could get a desktop that would do much more than that laptop could, but without a laptop's added mobility and the convenience of buying everything in one package. A decent flat screen monitor will put me back $100 to $150 depending on whether it's new or refurbished, LCD or just simply flat, and widescreen or not. Keyboards, I learned on Tuesday, are insanely cheap, and mice, though slightly more expensive, are also not dreadful on one's wallet. RAM and hard drives seem to be priced at under $100 for your basic needs; of course the amount of storage on there will largely determine a more specific price for those.

All in all though, I realize that I should probably save up at least $300 as an absolute bare minimum to even have a shot at affording the cheaper end of these options, and more realistically I'd have around $450 or so if I want to actually be able to consider these different options. Bottom line: I'll keep you guys updated on how this adventure will end when I actually have some money.

stuff that annoys me: Atlanta

My mother and I moved to Atlanta, GA when I was six and a half years old. At such a young age I didn't quite fully understand the idea of city versus suburb but the concept of a neighborhood full of houses and houses only--subdivisions--completely baffled me. Even to this day they still make me uneasy. But coming from Chicago, it wasn't just the urban/suburban split that jolted me; it was the horror that is the city of Atlanta.

12 years later this forsaken place still hasn't grown on me.

Just a quick rundown of why Atlanta sucks:

• Shitty public transit
• No natural lakes nearby
• Nothing interesting to do/see
• No under 21 nightlife
• No real culture
• Not enough people or opportunities
• Driving isn't taught in school but a car is pretty much a necessity
• There's only one major art museum and science museum  
• The only good schools are Emory, Tech, and Agnes Scott

And these were the good things I managed to pull out of my ass:

• Chick-fil-A
• Cheaper than many larger cities

Had things turned out a bit differently I would be in New York City right this second. But no, I was trying to make the most of my situation and wanted to find out what things my date and I could possibly do this lovely Friday night right here in town.

Come to realize practically nothing, since the city of Atlanta has passed a ban on people under 21 entering nightclubs.

In a city where you can't learn to drive in school but using public transit makes you want to shoot yourself for lack of a car, there's no waterfronts and nothing on the caliber of Navy Pier for any real entertainment, the last thing they could have done was force the 18- to 20-year-old populace into a choice between Stone Mountain or staying their asses at home and bitching on a blog every Friday night for the next three years of their lives.

Dear City of Atlanta: please go fuck yourself.